What I Want

I used to think a lot.

Now, when I say 'a lot', I want to make sure you understand exactly what I mean. The fact is, there have been many times in my life where I had few or no friends. I would have absolutely nobody to socialize and share my thoughts with. Because of this, I spent a large amount of time alone, my thoughts compounding on themselves, echoing in my head, distorting themselves and each other, becoming twisted and gnarled until I had no idea where my train of thought had taken me.

My mind has calmed down since then. I have friends now. I talk to people, I do things that drown out the cacophony in my head.

I still think, though. Not all the time, but sometimes. Something that wanders into my head every now and then is what I want. Not what I want in general. I wonder that, but I've decided I won't figure it out by thought alone. What I spend time thinking about is exactly what I want out of the Internet. The Internet has done a lot of great things for me over the years. It's killed countless hours of my time. It's gained me friends. It's taught me things I'd never think to ask about. (I'm looking at you, Wikipedia.) Now it's led me to a community of which I am happy to be a part. YouTube. It extends onto a few other sites, like Twitter and Dailybooth, but the focal point is YouTube.

As I spent more and more time watching videos, I found the people that interested me, like everyone does. I subscribed, and when they recommended someone, I checked them out too. This has gone on pretty much since I made my account. Now, in the time I've been a part of the community, I've noticed these interpersonal connections that have formed between YouTubers. these are people who have probably never met IRL, but they behave like friends. This was a pretty strange concept to me at first. These people would watch each other's videos, decide the person interested them, and just make contact.

Does that seem really strange to anyone else? I don't think we have anything like that IRL. If you want to get to know someone, you have to talk to them. For long periods of time, even. YouTube lets you skip a lot of that. It's like a cheat code.

I love it.

These days, I do that with pretty much anyone I meet online. Usually they'll link to their YouTube channel or their blog from their Twitter page, and then I just watch their videos or read their posts. Videos are better, of course. As an actor, I've learned to pay close attention to little things, like how much people use their hands when they talk, how much of their face they emote with, and little features like laugh-lines. Seeing the way people talk tells me at least as much as what they're actually saying. I have the exact skill-set needed to properly use this cheat code.

I digress. This post isn't about how I cheat at getting to know people. It's about the people. I see these friendships link to other friendships, and become these tight-knit little groups. I love the dynamic of these groups. VlogCandy, VlogVetica, FiveAwesomeGirls, all of those. These people, brought together by fate, God, whatever you want to call it, just hanging out over the Internet.

I think, more than anything that's what I want from the Internet. I want to be part of a group like that. Views and subs are nice, but what I really want is to interact with other people in the community. Yeah. That's pretty much it.

I'll get there eventually.

Critical

"frankly, critical types, you really aren't winning anything by having high standards. it just means you enjoy less things." - age0limits0are0gay

I saw this comment on a YouTube video. The video itself doesn't matter.

I wasn't sure at first why I was so incensed by the comment. Gradually, I came to realize that it bothered me because it was retarded. This person seems to be arguing that having standards is actually a fault, a defect in one's character. That kind of thinking is just one of those little side-effects of the immaturity most of America has been huffing for the last couple decades.

It disturbs me that this kind of idea can exist unchallenged. And it is unchallenged. It has sat under that video for over a month now, with not a single response.

The thing about being critical is that it's not a choice you make. It's like a gateway drug. As you grow up (and the key really is growing up) you expect better from the media you consume. Or, if you want to be literal, the food you consume. For instance, when I was a kid, Lunchables were awesome. Now, I eat actual food, because it is better. Yes, I could theoretically subsist on those little pre-packaged meals, but I'd rather improvise a cooked meal that not only has actual nutritional value, but will taste better than the kiddie meals by orders of magnitude.

I'd say the same about beverages. I spent several years drinking almost nothing but root beer. When I was home, if I got thirsty, I'd grab a can or two. Later, I got picky. I'd only drink root beer that came from independent bottlers. That's because the name brands are homogenized, watered down for the general public, while the independent bottlers still have to put effort into producing a product people will want to buy again. Barq's, Mug, and A&W all have enough name recognition to keep selling for decades. I only bought once a week, and I didn't mind buying a four-pack of bottled Goose Island rather than a 12-pack of cans of Mug. (Goose Island really is good stuff. If you see it, pick up a pack.)

When you get right down to it, it's about growing as a consumer. Used here, 'consumer' does not mean 'buyer and user of goods,' but rather 'one who consumes.' As you read more and more books, you start to expect characters to have a little more depth. As you watch movies, you begin to expect better acting and writing.

I suppose, when it comes to art, that it's a matter of intelligence. If you watch a high-concept film and don't get it, you won't like it because it makes you feel dumb, and you'll seek out something more on your level. In that context, people liking stupid jokes almost makes sense. That is to say, if you can't handle high-brow, go for low-brow.

Part of the problem is that once you understand why the more sophisticated item is better, you can't really enjoy the old thing anymore. Sure, a box of wine is nice if you don't know any better, but once you've noticed the fruity undertones in an old vintage, you can never go back.

I'm rambling.

Anyway, here's the link to the video. It has no relevance to this, but the comment is probably still there.